I got to do something I love to do last week – help someone install a porn blocker on a computer. That may seem like a strange thing to be glad for, but I think it’s an incredible testimony to wisdom and grace.
It takes tremendous maturity to say, “I need a blocker on my computer.” And then to have someone help you put it on.
The reason you need help is because someone else needs to hold your password and also to make sure you get it set up. I have this password and am the administrator. If the person needs help, I can help and will easily do so. Just not at 2am. Both of us need to know when the subscription expires so we can make sure to go another year without interruption.
The person loses a bit of freedom (a tiny bit), and $40 a year and perhaps an hour of time – and gains so so so so much. Much more freedom. Much more space. Much more help in times of temptation and trials. One fail a year is too much. One fail every two years is too much. There is a cost and this is a simple one. You may not be able to look up every single thing you ever wanted to on your phone or iPad or computer. Eh. You’ll make it.
Let me be clear – I think EVERY PERSON should have a blocker on every computer and every phone. In fact, I think it’s incredibly irresponsible not to have one. No matter what. You may not have a problem, but someone in your family might. Your roommate might. Your boyfriend or girlfriend might (and probably does). It’s a growing problem for women so don’t be fooled that it’s only men who are struggling. However, I have rarely ever met a man who has escaped this. Instead of shaming the men in your life, help them. Install blockers. Restrict access to pornography. Force them out of hiding and into redemptive, forgiving conversations about sexuality, gender, pornography, real bodies and the love of Christ which is rich and free.
There are a lot of choices. You can go crazy picking them all. I don’t know of the best ones. However, I would suggest you go with blockers and not reporters. Reporters don’t block porn. They report when you look at it. That may seem like a deterrent, but at 1am you’ll just give in and think that you’ll have a tough conversation. Unless you pick someone who will have some consequences. It’s way better not to look at all.
We installed this one today: Net Nanny
We’ll see how well it works. We also disabled Safari and downloaded the NetNanny app on the phone for an internet browser. This is key. Don’t miss this step. And it was easy. It took five minutes and cost less than $5.
The last thing we did is to set a yearly reminder on iCal so that when the renewal comes around we don’t miss it. It’s really best to go ahead and do three-year commitment if you can. Just make it easy.
If you don’t have the money to buy one of these let me know and we’ll figure out how to get one on for you. Ask someone for help. Put it on today in the light of the day while you’re thinking clearly. Be impulsive in this say – install it now.
I have Intego’s Content Barrier and Family Protection.
We also use Safe Eyes.
We use this on our iPad: http://www.opendns.com
You may encounter problems. You may have to call tech support. You may not be able to look up every thing you ever want at any second. There is a cost and it’s worth it. Pay that cost. Ask for help. Have the conversation. Install the browser. It’s not going to save your heart or fix your desire or make it all right, but it is an important step to get help and say you need help. You can find help. You can find grace. You can find freedom. [And, especially if you know a lot about computers – you can find ways around them. I’d ask you if you know how to do this that you would never erase your history and have a ton of people who will ask you. I’d also ask that you install one anyone, and then maybe you’ll have a few moments of clarity as you take the steps to get around it.]
We live in a broken world and we have broken hearts. We need to own up to that and then hope for more, hope for change and redemption. We can have hard conversations where not everything is the way it should be. We’re foolish to think it will just get better this year on its own. We have to cling to the crucified and this is one of those steps.
I love helping people download porn blockers. Can I help you download one? Would you make sure every computer and phone you own has one, whether you struggle with this or not? Will you realize this is a huge problem and pursue grace, forgiveness and actual real change.