My wife recently wrote a post about her sins of omission. And by contrast how I tended to sin more overtly with sins of commission.
Omission is not doing things you’re supposed to do. Commission is doing things you’re not supposed to do.
I suppose she’s right. I do sin a lot. I know I do. I talk a lot. I write a lot. I meet people. I put my foot in my mouth. I say dumb things. I offend others. I insert my opinion where it’s not wanted. I lie. I drink too many beers. I cuss sometimes. I’m mean to someone. I buy things I don’t need. I could go on and on of course.
And she’s right that sometimes I have confessed and repented. I wonder if it’s more than “normal.” I’m not sure. In some ways I think I have to fess up more often, but in other ways I think I might get a pass more than other people do. It’s hard for me to gauge frequency and depth of my heart compared to others. I certainly know even if I do confess and repent a lot, I don’t do it nearly enough. I sin far far far more than I would ever like to admit.
And certainly many of those sins – perhaps most – are sins of omission. How could I ever list the things I should have done but have not? How could I exhaust that topic?
I also know that I sure wish I could be sinning less often and less boldly. I can’t stand the way I sin so much and so deeply. I wish I could head in more of the direction she admits in her blog, the one where fewer people know about it. I may not be better, but it sure seems easier. I’d probably cause less trouble that way, even if my heart were just as sick.
One other thing I’ve noticed is that some sins can attract a ton of attention while others scoot by. If you correct the “right” sins, you can only talk about those ones. People will focus on them. They’ll bring them up over and over. They’ll shine the light right there and only there. It’s another effective strategy for the frequent offender. Dodge the other deeper issues and let the one or two biggees lead the way.
I’d like to be a more frequent, more honest, more authentic repenter. May the Lord hasten the day when I can see more of my needy broken heart but then also more of him and less of me. That I could somehow do the right thing because he wants me to and rest in that. That I could experience his love instead of condemnation and shame. That I could walk in the light of grace and mercy and stand in his strength for me.