When I filled out the membership packet, I remember writing something down about my story of rescue. I’ll further say in the same breath that I couldn’t articulate to anyone reading this what I wrote down. I do remember that I didn’t write something down just for the sake of writing it down, but just wasn’t quite sure how I had been rescued.
God has pulled me out of more than my fair share of jams but I am still working on figuring out what that culminating “rescue” has been for me. Have you listened to some of the powerful stories people have been sharing? Members in the church are sharing profound, deep, and reflective thoughts about the most private parts of themselves. That’s hard. That takes guts. I tried to put words to what people have been doing in my opinion when they share their stories. One of the words that really stuck out to me was reflection.
How much time do you spend looking back over the course of your day, work week, relationship or friendship with a person and really think about what you have learned? Do you reflect back on how you have grown, failed, suffered, and triumphed?
Here is what I found to be true about myself: I don’t. I haven’t taken the time over the past year (when God really has rescued me several times) to reflect back and put it all together into some collective thoughts. What it comes down to for me is selfishness and a refusal to spend some alone time in conversation with God. When I thought about why I didn’t know my own story of rescue I found that I often cut off my conversations with God in fear of what He might reveal to me.
Knowing the truth is scary. People are often frustrated with leaders because they have the ability to hold back and provide one of the most sacred of all forms of power, which is knowledge. Think about it, have you ever been frustrated with someone at work because they won’t tell you something? Maybe it was for your own good. My problem is that I don’t spend enough time listening to He who knows all of the answers. Why don’t I know my story of rescue? I haven’t been listening enough and I surely haven’t been reflecting on God’s love.